Even darkness must pass.

I can explain

Thu, 25 May 2023 12:41:12 GMT

falls over

falls over again

no i cant lol ive been like. touching grass. well i guess not really touching grass i just simply havent been on social media much besides reblogging stuff on tumblr. been making art... livin in my cave......... talking about samfrodo on discord.... we r chilling

comments

cross stitching again!

Thu, 11 May 2023 14:04:30 GMT

Working on this one real quick for mothers day :) I do so love looking at old patterns! this one comes from antique pattern library, its undated but based on what ive seen im going to guess early 1900s. im cross stitching it in pink for my adoptive mom!

comments

Running a Zine again!

Tue, 09 May 2023 19:48:58 GMT

Apparently running the whether or no (samfrodo) zine wasn't enough, I feel the need to start another one! This one is a Sam/Frodo first kiss zine! if any of y'all on my page are interested in joining in on it heres a link to the sign up form! :)

comments

Tired, crocheting

Mon, 08 May 2023 01:10:24 GMT

Not much to say honestly. a pretty uneventful day for me ! I just... went to work, and came home! spent a while on LOTRO with Miki, now I've just had supper. I'm crocheting granny squares amongst it all as I finally got my project back from my dads house :) Feels good to make progress again!

comments

OUGH

Sat, 06 May 2023 11:27:19 GMT

Off to work!! Well almost. in like 10 minutes anyway. I gotta go and get dressed, im just feeling a bit lazy ! I don't really want to go :') Ah well!

My cat Libby is very lovingly meowing at me a bunch this morning, and its cooold. At least I'm working with some folks I rather like! Hopefully today will go by well.

I drew this Frodo yesterday ! He's wearing a Miss Point OP ! I've been... considering getting back into lolita. Kinda tough for a little fat guy such as myself but we stay silly!

comments

Oopsie!

Fri, 05 May 2023 12:40:10 GMT

Um... long time no see! Guess who got sick of being on other social media again?

I haven't really been up to much honestly. Still working at my same crummy job, still drawing Sam and Frodo... life carries on!

I do so love my little guys though! Today I'm... not sure what I'm doing! I'm waiting on Miki to wake up... I know that much... other than that... hrm! I just finished reading Yentl yesterday (not a long read) and I'm also done with Dykes to watch out for. I've been listening to the LOTR BBC radio play as well and I'm on episode 7 currently!

As for projects... well I could do some art, I could crochet, I could start on the little room diorama that I got... hrm... I could sew... though sewing is pulling teeth for me right now for some reason. I get a little weird about it sometimes! Ah, I'm just a fickle creature, what can I say. I persist! I think I'm actually going to exercise this morning (what a concept!) and then... decide what to do from there. Honestly I'd love some coffee if only I could actually drink it. I miss when caffeine didn't give me heart palpitations lol.

comments

1600s cross stitching for the soul

Wed, 15 Mar 2023 11:43:04 GMT

I survived my long work shift the other day!! Now ive been getting up really early ever since but honestly it is... nice. Is it weird to be a morning person who hates being a morning person? All of my friends are up at night, its just a lot of trouble for me and my social life! Its great for wanting to do some crafting in the early morning though. I'm currently working on a cross stitch just for a bit of fun! I spent a while looking at the internet archives of old pattern books, and I found this pattern from 1604:

Cute, right? I'm currently making it in a nice shade of green! :) It really makes me feel connected to people before when I make something someone designed a very very long time ago. I think its really sweet and cute! Heres the link to the book i looked through, its really neat! archive.org/details/gri_33125001060827/page/n85/mode/2up

comments

Morning.... but at what cost

Sun, 12 Mar 2023 12:03:06 GMT

Yesterday was alright. I woke up super early, tripped and fell walking out of my bedroom (miraculously i did not injure myself) and then got ready to go to my dads. My reason for going to my dads? legos. its lego time. The rivendell set is HERE! Im building it over at my dads because:

1. No cats (sorry to my cats)
2. Hes actually got room to display it lol

It was going great ! I was anticipating building it WITH other people but it very quickly became a solo project. I think perhaps my other brothers just dont have the lego mindset or something loll I built the entire tower portion yesterday!

So cute !!!!!!!!!!

Now im off for some way less exciting stuff. I woke up this morning and all i could think was.... I dont want to be awake! I work today (a tiny shift) but then tomorrow im working 11 hours with no break (thanks Georgia labor laws ♥) and.. yeah ill have to go to bed super early tonight so ill barely have a day to speak of. I have a feeling im going to be pretty miserable today alas !

Building the legos was a lovely distraction but I dont know if you can tell from my posts but... ive been sad A LOT! Alas I am not vulnerable very often, and most of the time me being vulnerable leads to me getting hurt because im always.... misjudging i guess. So. I would talk about how serious the depression was right now but if im going to do anything about it i dont really want people aware so I'll leave it there. Thats all ! :) I'm probably going to crochet before I work.

comments

Early Day

Fri, 10 Mar 2023 10:21:07 GMT

Trying to rack in my head why the hell i need to come into work at 6am for a four hour shift every Friday. Like yes we get a little busy but ?? 4 hours? really? What a waste of time and an early hour to get me up at for no good reason!

But, people at my work keep quitting (good for them!) so this sort of ridiculous scheduling persists. It's so annoying having to go to bed at fucking like. 7pm. Most of my friends are up at night !! it really fucks up my ability to talk to anyone!

As another aside, isn't it annoying when you don't like a member of your own friend group? Like theyre annoying, unfunny, but you just have to deal with it because theyre just... around? And everybody kinda feels bad for them?? Sucks man LOL

comments

The sims!!

Thu, 09 Mar 2023 13:54:02 GMT

I tripped and accidentally fell back into playing the sims lol. this time though... its LOTR gameplay time!! Look at my Sam/Frodo/Rosie ! Look at my Merry/Eowyn !!

comments

well...

Tue, 07 Mar 2023 14:37:01 GMT

Im depressed man I really struggle sometimes with feeling alone and not worth loving so its pretty. bad. I mean im only 23. Ive got plenty of time. I just......... it seems to happen again and again. 20s are rough nobody is really good ever around this age. Maybe its just my period talking but I really cant help this terrible feeling that I'm just going to be alone for a long long time. Its fine anyway.

And it doesnt help that I feel bored and alone a lot of time, even before I blocked twitter off of my computer. It's just eating me up again, and Im not the sort of person who can really fill that void with working. Like I know something is wrong with me right now and I just... sit in bed about it. I guess it makes sense im upset even if I push so hard to say I'm fine. Oh well.

On a lighter note I'm playing the sims 4 and really enjoying making Sam/Frodo/Rosie and building Bag End. Maybe I just need to get back into the sims LOL.

Thats all.

comments

YEOWCH!

Mon, 06 Mar 2023 12:01:52 GMT

Do you ever have a period that completely kicks your ass??? to death??? Thats what im going through rn

Ive been irritable BECAUSE of that but theres still much to embrace! First off, I'm going to get to see my beloved Miki in August!!! :) Yippee!!!

Secondly, I got the lord of the rings rivendell lego set! Look at how gorgeous it is !! I cannot wait to get it and put it together! It came with some extra goodies too like blockheadz of Frodo and Gollum and a houses of the world set !! :) I'm very excited !! Cant wait to make my lego frodo and Sam kiss lol

comments

about to leave

Sat, 04 Mar 2023 12:33:54 GMT

I love love

comments

Game night (?)

Sat, 04 Mar 2023 12:05:00 GMT

I think I'm meant to have a board game tonight with my brothers ! I'm mildly excited for it. Im in a bit of pain but it is what it is !

Im just relaxing and listening to music before work right now. I really wish I hadn't picked up a shift but... its okay. I'll live! I'll just be working a lot more coming up, it is what it is. I really should work more even if it hurts for me :/ the joys of being disabled but still forced to work yippee !!

ill say more later. I woke up at 5am but still dont feel quite here right now.

comments

Social Security Office my beloathed

Fri, 03 Mar 2023 13:13:21 GMT

Im going to the social security office......... Sam and Frodo....... bitches... help !!!!!!

I really dont want to go LOL my local office is super annoying and doesnt allow for appointments still, doesnt let me have water while im there, AND its this super packed little room they make you wait in. Like buds if youre worried about covid safety... how is this better?

Really hoping it wont be as slammed today as it was when i tried to go on tuesday. I really don't want to be waiting in there forever. Ive got stuff to do! Well, not really, I just want to crochet and sit in bed. my period just started this morning so im cranky !!

At least afterwards me and Xan (my brother) are meant to go out to lunch and get some ice cream as well! We're both off today so hopefully we can get up to a bit of fun. Ive been pretty on edge recently with all the goings ons in my life so. Putting the slightly more serious note under the cut:

( Read more... )

comments

Woe is me !

Wed, 01 Mar 2023 20:15:22 GMT

Alas... another bad day for the books! So.. i officially dont have insurance, i dont know WHEN i will get insurance again because i cant afford it (I hate the united states a lot by the way) and i cant get medicaid because i live in georgia and they dont factor in your income when deciding whether or not you can get lower rates. so... yeah! ju

Also got harassed by jehovahs witnesses today who knew i was jewish because i was an idiot and told the last guy who came in that i was jewish (this was at work) so i just was trapped there while they talked to me.

Then a guy came in and called me "fun sized" and kept staring at my chest and making sexually inappropriate comments. I love being trapped at work by myself so people can come in and harass me and i cant do anything about it ♥ its really cool!

Now. im going to clean up before my friend comes over, and hopefully SOMETHING today can be good. (im watching lotr which is. very good so that helps... Sam and Frodo i need your comfort now more than ever lol)

comments

ARAGORN DAY + TOLKIEN MONTH BABY!

Wed, 01 Mar 2023 12:17:07 GMT

Happy birthday Aragorn you smelly man....... love you!!

comments

Just a day

Wed, 01 Mar 2023 02:16:46 GMT

Nothing major to report today really. Folded laundry, worked on granny squares... took a bath........ now about to play stardew valley!

Im just relaxing waiting for my friends to get online. Ive been feeling a little under the weather today too but I'll live ! Ive got work in the morning tomorrow and other than that... im chillin. Not a bad day off surely, though i will have to clean tomorrow before i have company over since i didnt get to it today. Ive just been a bit of a lazy bones!

comments

Cheesin' it

Tue, 28 Feb 2023 03:42:00 GMT

So... I've figured out my granny squares! What I'm doing instead is a very closely knit version of a classic granny square-- basically I wanted something easy to work up that I'm familiar with so this wouldn't take forever. Doing lace-y crochet and whatnot is easy but i find that trying to do compact creations is where I struggle for some reason. (though I can make a scarf just fine but yk-- who cant lol)

That granny square pattern I was trying just confounded me and as much as I love learning new things, I figured going with something a bit simpler so I can get the blanket done for my brother is better.

Other than that not a terribly eventful day. I worked with a coworker who has some problems with me but I managed, they just gave me the cold shoulder and refused to talk to me the whole day. their whole problem with me is that they were mean to me because they were in a bad mood and i told them that... doing that wasnt okay. Some people really just cannot admit when theyre wrong! I wasnt even mad that they did it, i just wanted to tell them that it had hurt my feelings! Ah well.

After work I did my usual routine of eating lunch, exercising-- then past that point i cleaned my room, did my laundry, then plopped down on the couch and figured out how to make my more dense granny squares. Ive got 2 done so far-- not super impressive but im happy to at least have a plan of action!

Thats all :) Tomorrow I'm cleaning the whole house because... this wednesday.... is LOTR day !!!!

comments

Granny square troubles

Mon, 27 Feb 2023 04:26:26 GMT

I don't know why but for the life of me tonight i could NOT work up this new granny square pattern! I really don't get it, its as simple as can be, and yet...

Theres always another day to do it at least, its just a shame because i really wouldve liked to get a start. other than that i really didnt do much today. went to work, the craft store, then brought my brother flowers and fussed over him for a bit, then i went and cooked supper (chicken parmesean) and... then watched svu while trying to figure out this square. hopefully i can get it figured out after work tomorrow, and then thankfully im off of work for a day!

I'll be probably like. exercising, then cleaning, THEN working on the squares. im meant to have company on wednesday so Yknow.. gotta have my house looking clean!

comments

Mornin!

Sun, 26 Feb 2023 13:28:27 GMT

Doing a quick little post before I go to work. I'm on one of my usual "Gee I dont like modern social media" kicks again ! I think I want to stick to discord with my dearest Miki and limit my time on twitter a bit. Honestly I might lock myself out of it entirely for a little while. Actually I think I will! Which is a shame because Miki did just come back to twitter but....... twitter really is not good for your health imo, i dont think anything with an algorithm is. (besides maybe pinterest if yknow... youre just looking at pictures of lord of the rings characters and crochet projects)

Anyway im gonna fold my laundry before work. I've kind of been letting my room go for a bit but alas this is what happens when i have to work many days in a row and bad things are happening! I shall update again later lol. I leave u with a painting i saw and enjoyed this morning. (Also yes Im still listening to the same weird al song as last night)

Harald Slott-Möller (Danish, 1864-1937)

Evening with Two Women Having a Conversation

comments

Shopping, an accident, and... a day.

Sun, 26 Feb 2023 01:16:17 GMT

So late in the day yesterday my brother broke his leg. :( very sad because my brother is already disabled, but at least we're taking good care of him. He'll be out of the hospital tomorrow and will receive much care!

Other than that it was a pretty standard day for me. Went to work, there were some girl scouts outside actually! I made the girls some hot cocoas on the house :) They seemed very excited about that and I always love making the day of some kids so. I got two boxes of thin mints too!!

After work i went to a game shop and got some magic cards, then i got milkshakes, and then i went to goodwill! I had a lot of clothes but i only ended up sticking with this cute cardigan with crocheted flowers on it. Its a little scratchy but its meant to go over things so yk.... its fine! I also got some white cotton bedsheets so I can remake my good ol collared balloon sleeved blouse. Very excited about that!

But alas the project that has moved to the forefront is making a blanket for my brother to cheer him up while hes recovering. I'm going to get some alternating greens (a dark green and a light green) and make some granny squares that dont have any spacing in them so his toes wont catch on them if hes not wearing socks. I already have some yellow yarn on hand and with it im going to make little duck appliques! Thats the plan anyhow-- ducks are his favorite! Thats everything for now :) a pretty eventful day tbh lol i guess it really wasnt a standard one! Anyway, im off to play some games!

comments

frustrating friday

Fri, 24 Feb 2023 21:18:01 GMT

Oy vey I have much kvetching to do ! this one is serious so im putting it under a cut.

( Read more... )

comments

painting still

Thu, 23 Feb 2023 20:00:32 GMT

I've found painting to be pretty relaxing albeit time consuming! I'm going to leave Frodo here (I can work faster than this i just keep getting distracted lol) and go clean and do laundry. Im having a pretty boring day but thats alright, i dont need to get too crazy before class :)

comments

painting lol

Thu, 23 Feb 2023 13:59:57 GMT

This is my first time trying to actually paint digitally dont shoot me ok

he is... a work in progress... a frodo work in progress... yeah

comments